What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Communion
Yesterday I chewed the mailman out for leaving more of those darned Home Improvement magazines in our mailbox. All they do is cause trouble.
Connie can spend hours studying the photos and flagging items like child selecting presents from a Christmas catalog. Then she’ll point to each one and proclaim, “We could do that!”
If the Republicans are so bent on banning books and movies, why the hell don’t they do something about the HGTV network and those books and magazines that are hazardous to MY health? I bet most of them couldn’t even read a ruler, let alone a book.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our hostess is the kinky-haired Bobbie Ross Wisoff-Fields.. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
As a participant on Nekkid & Skeered, I was flown to a town near the Teton Wilderness and met by a man named Todd.
That night, he took me and the film crew to a fancy restaurant. The waiter seated all nine of us on the backside of a long table with me in the middle and Todd, the producer, and film crew split evenly on each end. The waiter took a picture of us that reminded me of that painting, The Last Supper.
We broke bread and drank some wine.
But I didn’t offer to wash their feet.
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This is an excerpt from my current WIP, A Chip Off the Ol’ Bunyan
32 Comments on “Communion”
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What's So Funny? 
Perhaps he’s planning to turn them into Pontius Pilate
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As soon as he gets his 30 pieces of silver.
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Good to see you here Russell. I hope the TV show experience wasn’t quite as reality as the viewers are led to believe and you are saved from the Home Improvement magazine by a sudden fondness for Love Island on Connie’s part.
I’m about to start painting sea creatures on my son’s wall, so I’m aware of the gap between ideas and action on the home improvement front.
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Thanks for the kind wishes. This week we tore down a greenhouse attached to the south side of our home and will be replacing it with a covered deck. Way too much work for an old man.
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LOL! 😀
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Thanks for snickering. Hope you can avoid the home improvement bug this summer.
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Home improvement never ends! 🙂
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Once again, your intro is almost as good as your story. Hopefully, this isn’t The Last Supper! Good to see you here.
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No, but it’s Virgil Bunyan’s (great grandson of Paul Bunyan) last real meal before heading into the wilderness for a three-week survival challenge. His partner’s name is Mary Jane. They may be nekkid, but they definitely aren’t skeered. 🙂
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Dear Virgil Bunyan,
Your grandaddy would be proud as punch. Or maybe he’d just want to punch you. All the best on Nekkid and Skeered. Watch out for them skeeters in them there woods, they bite in inconvenient places. (Jan’s been learning how to speak good. How’m I doin?) As for the survival challenge, ask Jan about catching and eating gar.
Welp, Imma thinking my work here is done. Back to painting happy trees and hiding DNR tags. Your fiend always.
Shalom y’all,
Bobbie Ross W(T)F
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Dear Bobbie Ross W(T)F,
Virgil and his partner, Mary Jane, will survive quite well in the wilderness. She has the ability to talk to animals and has recruited a battalion of beavers to help build a shelter. He has some “special gifts” as well, but I don’t want to spoil the story for you.
I heard of people eating gar. According to my dad, you have to whack them with a club to get the shell off, sort of like opening an armadillo I suspose. Think I’ll pass and stick with crappie and catfish.
Kudos on the happy trees and safe and secure DNR tags. Looking forward to seeing you and Jan in a couple of weeks.
Virgil Buyan
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(that should be “learning me h ow to sepak good.) Can’t even get it wrong right. SMH
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I believe the phrase is, “You talk purty.”
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Which of your pals was Judas?
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His name was Dale, but he’s no pal of mine.
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Very clever 😊
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Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
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I just don’t know what to say!
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Cat got your typing fingers?
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Something did 🙂
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I wouldn’t offer to wash their feet either. Well done.
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Me neither.
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There is a line!
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Yep, pretty soon they’d be wanting a full body wash.
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Sounds like a good time to me!
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Last meal before heading out to the wilderness for 3 weeks.
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I’m the Queen of “This looks easy Tom, let’s do it.” And of course I mean, “Honey, you do it.” Oh and I like your story too, but let’s all keep our clothes.
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Projects always look easy when someone else is doing the work.
I’m not too interested in trying to survive 3 weeks in the wilderness even WITH clothes on.
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I can only think of one thing to say – amen!
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So let it be written. So let it be done.
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did the judas character foot the bill? he must. 🙂
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He was the only one with any money. I hope he left a good tip.
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