Big Bales in Cowtown

On Monday, the world lost a great comedy writer, actor, and director, Harold Ramis.  Most people recognize Harold from his work in Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day, and my personal favorite Stripes, where he played a character named Russell Zisky. He also co-wrote the scripts for a couple of other classics, National Lampoon’s Animal House and Caddy Shack.  

Then on Wednesday, while perusing the obituaries in our local newspaper, I discovered a woman named Susie had passed away.   I wasn’t sure I recognized her until I got to the second paragraph, wherein it stated, “She worked for many years as a homemaker.” Some of you probably remember her from Home Economics class in Jr. High. She was the prototypical wallflower, slender, flat-chested, and wore sensible shoes. While other girls went on to become career women, Susie stayed at home, raised a family, and baked toll-house cookies in a miniature oven. Losing her is like the passing of an era. Our troubled world could use a lot more Susie Homemakers.


On a happier note, if you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the curator of this 100 word weekly addiction is Marcy D’Arcy Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF  Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copuright - Sandra Crook
copuright – Sandra Crook

Joe was particularly proud of his tractor. It was big, bold, and bright red. He liked to brag about the size of his “implement of husbandry.”

His favorite pastime was to parade an oversized trailer of hay through the tiny hamlet of Haversack. Traffic would screech to a crawl. Even the pedestrians would shake their fists and curse the giant tractor.

Joe didn’t care. He’d turn on the AC and crank up Pink Floyd on the stereo. His outlandish behavior earned him the nickname “Brain Damage.” His wife was reported to be living on the Dark Side of a Goon.

36 Comments on “Big Bales in Cowtown

  1. It is impossible to count the double entendres here, starting with the title. What would Suzie Homemaker think of all this? Suzie Homemaker?… Harold Ramis would be shocked from this! Implement of Husbandry? Big? Bold? Oversized? Shake their fists? (That’s a triple entendre.) Crank up? Russell, you can be particularly proud of all this! As well as of your two big bales …


    • Thank you, Perry. I saw where you had posted something on Google + regarding Harold’s death, but my browser would allow me to access it from work or I would have attached a link for this story to your post.


  2. Excellent punch line, Russell! Godsend at The Grind was playing Pink Floyd much of the day while chowing down mint stuffed Oreos. I’m not complaining. At least she doesn’t smoke crack, even though I wouldn’t be surprised that the dietary staple, carnauba wax, is one of that cookie’s real or artificial flavors.


    • Even though I’ve listened to Pink Floyd since I was a teenager, I never knew the title of the song with the Dark Side of the Moon reference was entitled “Brain Damage” until yesterday. Good thing it wasn’t a trivia question.
      Evidently, Godsend knows you’re on a diet and showering Oreo crumbs all over the work place is her way of saying, “Good job, I’m happy for you!”


      • I just learned that Pink Floyd factoid from you now, Russell. So I asked Godsend if she knew that. She thinks she did, but isn’t entirely sure. Maybe all the Oreos have clogged that hole of memory in her head.


  3. LOL Oh, I have been missing your sense of humor. I have a stack of links in my email for your blog. I’m going to have to don an adult diaper and read the rest.


    • Why, thank you, Patti. Feel free to laugh out loud, spew coffee or soft drinks out your nose, or do whatever it takes to relieve the internal pressure brought on by my consistent string of nonsense.


  4. Oh Russell, what are we going to do with you? Dark Side of a Goon? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear 🙂 Mind you, when I first read “Goon” my mind immediately went to The Goon Show with Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan and Peter Sellers. You’d like The Goons, Russell, they’re your kind of people 😀


  5. They were coming thick and fast there Russell, I scarcely had a chance to recover from the last one before the next double entendre was on me… 🙂


  6. I fell out of my chair reading this-Susie the homemaker passed away?lol!And what was that about “implement of husbandry”?And that last line-more laughter!Too good Russel-this was very enjoyable:-)


  7. Hilarious! Loved the introduction and the story, especially this bit:: He liked to brag about the size of his “implement of husbandry.” The last line made me crack up 😀


  8. I heard about Harold Ramis’ death. That’s sad, indeed. Your comments about Susie made me smile. Great story. I loved it! The Dark Side of the Goon. Good one!


  9. Dear Joe,

    Let’s dress up as the Village People and celebrate your warped sense of humor. Friday Fictioneers wouldn’t be the same without it. 😉 YMCA…




  10. Love your story Russell! Been taking it easy this week – had to. Hope all is well. You are such a good writer! Thanks, Nan


  11. always love your sense of humor. you had me chuckling from ‘size of his “implement of husbandry.”’ to the end. i don’t really wear sensible shoes but i’ve always wanted to be a homemaker. might come true in a couple of years or so. 🙂


  12. Russell you are now officially the king of the double entrendre! And I hear the crown you get to wear is huge!

    I will miss Harold Ramis too. I loved him in Stripes. He leaves a trail of laughter behind him.


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