As a fledgling writer, I was often chastised for the use of “weak” verbs. My sentences were the proverbial 67 lb. weaklings who got sand kicked in their face by the bullies at the critique group.
Then I heard about Damitol. You may remember ads for this wonderful product (see below). Just one Damitol tablet before writing and my sentences come roaring out ready to kick the crap out of the harshest critic who dared challenge the strength of my verbs. Trust me, if a two-bit hack like me can earn the respect of editors and publishers, imagine what it can do for you.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Verb & Noun Tamer of our 100 Word Circus is Hermione Melville Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Kansas City, MO – A pod of Killer Whales came ashore earlier this week, leaving in their wake a path of destruction from Riverside to Kauffman Stadium.
“We’ve never seen anything like this,” said Missouri Wildlife Officer Ishmael Starbuck. “Why they chose to target the mid-west is difficult to fathom.”
Biologist Ahab Queequeg sites addiction as the cause. “The leader of the pod, Toby Dick, is obsessed with purple. He’s been known to devour tons of grapes, plums, and even listen to Purple Rain (sick bastard).”
The pod appears to be headed for the sleepy bedroom community of Belton, the internationally recognized epicenter of Purple.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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