Song Writer’s Block

Long before I became an obscure humor writer, I was equally unknown as a songwriter and poet. A sort of Robert Zimmerman of the South, if you will. The primary challenge with songwriting is getting the lyrics aligned with the melody. To do this, I would count syllables and search for words to fit the allotted space without sounding too awkward.

Here are some examples that didn’t work out.

                    Mary had a little cucumber.

                    Mary had a little kosher ham.

                    Twinkle, twinkle little space capsule.

                    Twinkle, twinkle little moonbeam in a jar.

As you can see, it’s not as easy as people like Bjorn Rudberg make it look.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the musical director who chastises the tuba section for making farting noises, is Hester Van Cleef Wisoff-Fields.  If you’d like to take a stab at this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

John drummed the eraser end of the number-two yellow pencil against a lined pad and stared out the window.

The music inside his head ran a continuous loop, in one ear and out the other. Along the route it passed a giant doing cartwheels, statues wearing high heels, and elephants playing tambourines.

“Bother me tomorrow,” he told his wife when she brought up the subject of pre-paid funerals. “Today, I’ll buy no sorrow.”

“We’ll die someday.” Angry, she began to stutter. “Now’s the time to doo, doo, doo it.”

The missing lyrics appeared as she stormed out the back door.


For those of you not familiar with the song, this my version of how John Fogerty discovered the lyrics for “Lookin’ Out My Back Door.”


38 thoughts on “Song Writer’s Block

  1. Dear John,

    I always like your song “There’s a Bathroom on the Right.” What a toe tapper. As usual, you’ve set the bar low enough to ice skate over. I can always count on humor from the tuba section. So goes another week that I’m keeping your joy buzzer.




    1. Dear Hester,

      Thanks for the kind feedback. I know your favorite line of that song is, “Please remember to lower the ring, I need a target to aim at.” Pardon me while I tune up the tuba.



    1. She wants to pre-pay their funerals. It’s a nice concept. You get locked in at today’s price and it relieves the family of the financial burden when you finally do kick the bucket.


  2. LOL – The couple here are so different …one a dreamer and one a practical planner . That sounds like a recipe for a tragedy yet it’s comic in your story. Well done – and I enjoyed your lesson on Nursery rhymes in the intro 🙂


    1. That’s was John’s mind, although I like the visual image of giant’s doing cartwheels. We tend to think of them as being very clumsy, and as for the elephants playing tambourine, it had better be a really slow song.


    1. Crisp verbiage? You make it sound like I’m serving a salad.
      BTW – What kind of dressing would you like? Our house dressing is cracked nut vinaigrette. I assure you it’s better than it sounds.


  3. I was worried that all the great songwriters were dead or on life-support and rap would be the only thing that would pass for “music.” Whew! Or should I say, “doo, doo, doo, doo, thank you, you, you, you!”


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