On Golden Puddle

One of the most common idioms in America occurs when a person announces his/her candidacy for political office. They are said to “throw their hat in the ring.” Based on this year’s crop of candidates, beginning with the primaries, I propose this idiom be changed to “Throw their dirty underwear in the ring.”

A great example of this is the response of an elder statesman, who, when asked if he’d consider running for president, answered, “Depends.”—obviously referencing his undergarments.

Those who lost in the primaries are expected to retrieve their underwear from the ring for use in future campaigns. As they slide back into their Fruit of the Looms, let’s hope they remember—yellow stain in the front, brown stripe goes to the rear.

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, our facilitator, who would never mention unmentionables in public is Victoria Hanes Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a booth in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - CE Ayr
copyright – CE Ayr

Ethel sighed and gazed out over the motionless body of water. “Norman, do you remember our first visit to Golden Puddle?”

“I sure do. That must have been forty years ago. It was so dry that summer the trees were chasing dogs.”

“Yes, but you insisted we sit in the row boat and work the oars. When you fell overboard I threw you a life buoy. You clung to the ring while I pulled you from the dust.”

“And as I recall, you laughed so hard you wet your pants.”

Ethel blushed. “And there I sat, on Golden Piddle.”

34 Comments on “On Golden Puddle

    • I love the artwork. Looks like my wee granny has facial hair and blooming eyebrows.

      As for my tale, I didn’t know where to start either.


      • Thanks Russell, the artwork is by my friend Phil Burns who illustrated a series of children’s books I wrote some years ago. He is actually a talented and respected artist, but with the ability to laugh at himself and the rest of the world.

        At least, unlike my granny’s pigeons, you knew where to finish.


  1. Dear Norman,

    Dirty underwear in the ring is an understatement.

    At any rate, I don’t see Henry Fonda or Katherine Hepburn in this scene. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara perhaps. You say, ‘puddle’ I say, ‘piddle’…let’s call the whole thing off.


    Victoria Hanes feeling good all under.


    • Dear Victoria Hanes,

      I’m glad you’re feeling comfortable all under. I can see Stiller and Meara pulling this off with ease.

      Best wishes,


  2. Johnny Carson would have said that it was SO HOT (how hot was it?) that he saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea. And the birds were walking. I’d like it where we have a contest to see how we can punch up the answers in a fresh way with our having to lean on the old lines.

    As for the underwear, I’d say those who lost in the primaries, expected to retrieve their underwear from the ring for use in future campaigns, will be disappointed if they’re one of the female candidates. They all went to the Tom Jones Concert.


    • I think they’re are a few males in Congress who would probably enjoy wearing women’s undies–and the more soiled the better. No wonder they can’t get any bills passed, they’re too busy sniffing each other.


  3. Ha, ha. I enjoyed both the intro and the main story today, I laughed out loud. Russell. It was especially funny as I saw “On Golden Pond’s” actors when reading it. Saturday Night Live is having a ball with this political run for the money. 😀 — Suzanne


    • Yes, this year’s election makes for great political comedy. Too bad the political rhetoric itself is more about character issues than who can do the most to mover our country forward.


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