Second Fiddle

Wednesday was the anniversary of my 29th birthday. On that hallowed day in 1984, prophets, tea-leaf readers, and a certain televangelist from Tulsa, had predicted time, as we know it, would stand still.

The catch was, to get your name on the list for the individual, anti-aging, time freeze, the envelope containing your donation to Jacob’s Ladder Prayer Tower Fund had to be postmarked by midnight on the 15th. Fortunately, mine was stamped at 11:58pm.

Flash forward to 2016 and you’ll see that I’m still the same dashingly handsome, modest, and extremely humble, boy-genius from days gone by. The product has retained its classic originality, only the packaging has been updated to lock-in freshness and appeal to a wider, global audience.

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Marketing Director who posts fresh photo prompts each week, is Lili Von Shtupp Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a booth in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Bjorn Rudberg
copyright – Bjorn Rudberg

Born the result of a one-night-stand between a Double Bass and a French horn, Chantelle never fit in.

Rejected by orchestras, marching bands, and traveling gypsies, she found herself relegated to serving sour notes at a third-rate comedy club.

Her range spanned seven octaves, but her voice was always slightly off-key. Musicians debated whether she was a wind, or string instrument, while the comedians thrived on cruel jokes about her f-holes.

An odd-looking rich man saw her act and booked her for an outdoor event on January 20th.

“You’re a perfect fit,” he said, “to play Hail to the Chief.”

 

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43 thoughts on “Second Fiddle

    1. Dear Lily Von Shtupp,

      Yes, and some people fart to their own tuba, but that’s a different story. I’m fortunate to be forever young, or at least immature. 🙂

      Now, to make a wish and blow out the candle.
      Junior

  1. Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French Horn?
    A: Aim into the wall and play all the wrong notes.

    Q: How do you make a French Horn sound like a trombone?
    A: Straighten out the piping and abandon all sense of good taste.

    Q: If a bassoon player and a warrant officer fell off a high-rise, who’d hit the ground first?
    A: Who cares?

    On that note … nice work. Made me want to rosin my bow.

  2. A belated happy birthday Russell! A perennial youth, for sure… or certainly where your humor is concerned! 😉 Poor Chantelle from rejection to horror. Not where I want to be on the 20th. And there I go, showing my hand.

  3. Happy Belated Birthday, Russell. Two hilarious stories. We always think of you as young at heart. I wonder if anyone will hear the music in January. I heard there’s going to be a Million Women March that day. I wouldn’t miss watching that for anything. 😀 — Suzanne

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