Seasoned Greetings

 

Merry Christmas from Russell the Red-Nose Writer & Connie the Green-Thumb Gardener

 

Greetings Friends & Neighbors,

We’ve been blessed to survive another year (you probably figured that out when you got this card). Some of you may have suspected for years that Russell had mental issues. Well, now it’s official—he’s retared.

They say, “Ignorance is bliss,” and you’ll never meet a guy any happier to have this affliction.

Rather than bore you with the trivial events that occurred in our lives in 2017, we’ve decided to share some of the things that didn’t happen.

  • We didn’t win the lottery (again)
  • Russell’s book didn’t make the NY Times Best Seller List
  • We didn’t secretly meet with Vladimir Putin
  • No one offered to make a movie about us
  • Neither of us aged a single day (wishful thinking)

Yet despite all these failures and shortcomings, we feel happy and blessed. The Lord has been good to us. Praise God.

It’s our sincere wish that each of you have Joyous Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, and Blessed New Year.

__________X_____________               __X_________________

(his mark)                                                                    (her mark)

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23 thoughts on “Seasoned Greetings

  1. Thank you Russell for the card and your non-news. Hopefully next year you’ll get to the best seller list and the movie will be made. It’s a good job neither of you aged a day this year, as with all that going on, 2018 is going to be a busy one for you! Merry Christmas. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I thought after we went to Hollywood and made a commercial for AARP a couple of years ago, we’d have heard from George Lucas by now. Tom Cruise has been itching to play me and Natalie Portman would be ravishing in the role of Connie. Now, all we need is a black lab to play Buster.

      Liked by 1 person

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