What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Seasoned Greetings
Merry Christmas from Russell the Red-Nose Writer & Connie the Green-Thumb Gardener
Greetings Friends & Neighbors,
We’ve been blessed to survive another year (you probably figured that out when you got this card). Some of you may have suspected for years that Russell had mental issues. Well, now it’s official—he’s retared.
They say, “Ignorance is bliss,” and you’ll never meet a guy any happier to have this affliction.
Rather than bore you with the trivial events that occurred in our lives in 2017, we’ve decided to share some of the things that didn’t happen.
- We didn’t win the lottery (again)
- Russell’s book didn’t make the NY Times Best Seller List
- We didn’t secretly meet with Vladimir Putin
- No one offered to make a movie about us
- Neither of us aged a single day (wishful thinking)
Yet despite all these failures and shortcomings, we feel happy and blessed. The Lord has been good to us. Praise God.
It’s our sincere wish that each of you have Joyous Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, and Blessed New Year.
__________X_____________ __X_________________
(his mark) (her mark)
23 Comments on “Seasoned Greetings”
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What's So Funny? 
We are indeed blessed. All those wishes right back at the two of you.
janet
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Thanks, Janet. It’s nice to hear from you. 🙂
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I live one day at a time and feel blessed every one of those days. Season’s Greetings to both of you and your family. 🙂 Suzanne
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Each day is a cause for celebration.
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Dear Rusty Red Nose and the Long-Suffering Connie,
Seasons greetings to you. Hey, what a coincidence! None of my books made the NY Times Best Seller list. You two are a blessing to me.
Shalom,
Nameless Wonder W(T)F
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You’re a blessing to us too. Happy Hanukkah
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Season’s greetings!
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Thanks, Magarisa.
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Have yourself a merry little Christmas. 🙂
May the Lord continue to bless you with light and love in 2018,
(Just think: the world as we know it didn’t cease to exist at Y2K after all!)
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Blessing to you too, Christine.
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Connie and Russell-Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I love the holiday attire! (Vladimir’s loss!) 🙂
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Put an elf hat and some pointy ears on Vlad and he’d fit right in.
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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you both!
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Thanks, Mandie. Same to you.
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Seasoned Greetings to you two. Have a Jolly Christmas and Merry New Year!
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Have a great new year in the great Northwest.
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Same to you, guys. Russell, thanks for your support and have a happy holiday!
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Just don’t call me a jockstrap, okay?
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Thank you Russell for the card and your non-news. Hopefully next year you’ll get to the best seller list and the movie will be made. It’s a good job neither of you aged a day this year, as with all that going on, 2018 is going to be a busy one for you! Merry Christmas. 🙂
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I thought after we went to Hollywood and made a commercial for AARP a couple of years ago, we’d have heard from George Lucas by now. Tom Cruise has been itching to play me and Natalie Portman would be ravishing in the role of Connie. Now, all we need is a black lab to play Buster.
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The world would be a much duller place without you two in it.
Have a most Merry Christmas and may 2018 be as fabulous as it can be – maybe you’ll make the list! xoxo
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Aw, thanks Dale. We think the world of you too.
Without you, Canada would just be a cold, barren, deserted wasteland–except for the booze, of course.
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Of course 🍻🍺🥂🍷🍸🍹
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