They All Look Alike

Here’s an enigma for you. Since I’ve retired, time has sped up. The period between 6am and 6pm is now four hours. Carve out a couple of meals and there’s barely enough time left to accomplish anything.

Plus, if you’re like me and spent forty years earning a degree in Laziness and Procrastination from Hard Knocks University, even a small task will take weeks, possibly months to complete.

The reduced hours in a day has also caused adjustment problems for my wife. With me underfoot, poor Connie now has twice as much work to do and only half the time to get it done.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our ambitious, “Get ‘er Done” coordinator of 100-word tales is Lori The-Book-Table-Gal Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

 

copyright – J.S. Brand 

“What did the mime look like?”

“Like a mime, dammit. That’s like asking what a penguin looks like. They may come in different sizes, but they’re all penguins to me.”

“Was it a man or a woman?”

“I repeat—it was a mime, dammit. I don’t know how to tell what gender they are. The pissed-off woman referred to it as Shelby, or Shelley—something like that.”

“Boy, you’re a lot of help.”

“Lowry, you’re the friggin’ detective. If you want to know what sex the mime is, go down to the Family Mart and do a full cavity search.

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44 Comments on “They All Look Alike

  1. Dear Alvin “Slow Man” Worthlessen,

    No doubt Shelley mastermimed the plot. Clever mime, that one. Not only can she distinguish the colour purple a mile a way, she’s hidden her do not remove tags where Detective Lowry will never find them. And he’s no kind of genderman, that’s for darn tootin shure. My sincere sympathies go to the long-suffering Connie. 😉 For your watching pleasure, a favorite of mime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEsfpRrfXf4

    Shalom,

    Lori The-Book-Table-Lady, W(T)F

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Lori The-Book-Table-Gal W(T)F,

      This excerpt is from a scene where Shelley’s “Gone Fishing” act was interrupted by 3 teenage boys and the cops were called. Lowry is closing in. It’s only a matter of another 100 pages or so before he catches her white-glove-handed and recovers the invisible box.

      As for poor Connie, our mantel is filled with sympathy cards–and she appreciates your kind words, thoughts and prayers. She is an angel. Being my caregiver is not an easy job.

      I bet Shelley would like to have one of those invisible violins like Marcel plays in the video, but the invisible wine–not so much.

      Alvin “Slow Man” Worthlesston

      Liked by 1 person

    • Mimes are easy to spot. I’m hoping they’re gender neutral so they don’t propogate. Can you imagine what the world would look like if they started multiplying like rabbits?

      Like

  2. This faster time thingy (sorry about the technical jargon) is a by-product of a phenomenon known as ageing (or, if you are American, the less elegant aging). Have you noticed how many birthdays you can now pack into an average year?
    PS Have you heard anything from the mime?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve always liked mimes, male or female, many people find them creepy. We can let Shelley do the full cavity search and let us know what’s up.

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Here’s another two-for-the-price-of-one offering from Russell, namely FREE. If you enjoyed this zaniness, go to your right on this post and click on one or both book covers there. To help out Russell even more, reblog this post on your blog as I’ve done. Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

    • I appreciate your honesty. This is another excerpt from Criminal Mimes. Lowry believes the mime in question may be the thief who stole the invisible box.

      Like

  5. I’m thinking working only six months of the year does has a similar effect… Cheers to Connie!
    And I’m thinking this chase is far from over…

    Liked by 1 person

    • In the long run, it really doesn’t matter in this case. Lowry knows the criminal is a mime. He’s just trying to figure out which mime. And since they all look alike, it’s rather challenging.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I am down to those flypast days too. Attempting to write a book shortens the day amazingly for me. And other things are at play e.g. trying to get the phrase “full cavity search” out of my memory is taking a fair chunk of time today. I am hoping the nausea will subside by tomorrow – only another hour to go though. Loved your preamble to bits.

    Liked by 2 people

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