The Jury’s Still Out

They say you are what you eat. The same hold true for your brain. From an early age, I fed mine a steady diet of Rocky & Bullwinkle, Looney toons, and that thrilling test pattern that appeared when TV stations logged off the air.

Fractured Fairy Tales was one of my favorites. The premise is easy to imagine. You simply take a classic fairy tale and add a twist. Imagine what you could do with characters such as Snow Not-So-White, Blondilocks and the Three Gray Hairs. In the comments, please leave the title of a Fractured Fairy Tale you’d like to read.

 If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the fractured mime who runs this program is Shelley Kohlen Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Marie Gail Stratford
Eric was pulled over for failure to proceed at a green light.
“Sir, have you been thinking?” the officer asked.
“No,” Eric replied, indignantly.
“Then you won’t mind taking a brain-wave sobriety test.”
The next thing Eric knew he was being fingerprinted and booked for DWT (Driving While Thinking).
“Mr. Wicklund,” said the judge. “Why didn’t you drive forward when the light turned green?”
“Well, your honor, I thought—”
“Ah ha!” the prosecutor screamed. “He admits it. He THOUGHT!
After paying a hefty fine and attending a six-week course on thought-free driving, Eric finally got his license back.

*the above is a fractured version of the short story, The Perils of Heavy Thinking from the book by the same title.


40 Comments on “The Jury’s Still Out

  1. I have a theory that everyone’s IQ drops by 30 points as soon as they get behind the wheel of a vehicle. This would leave most people completely incapable of thought, which is easily proved by watching people drive… As to fractured fairy tales, well, since this is a family blog, I won’t bring up any titles 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I would tend to agree. Who knows about Eric. I suspect whatever he was thinking about had nothing to do with driving.

      I imagine fractured fairy tales could also include some X-rated titles. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I seem to run the risk of getting run over every time I take a walk due to thoughtless drivers. However, I do think the brain-wave test should be given to most people to be sure they actually have brains. 😀 (Present company excluded, of course!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Shelley Kohlen W(T)F,

      I pretty sure mimes invented texting. This happened long before cellphones and it was often difficult to understand what they were trying to say (damn autocorrect!). Where is your fractured fairy tale? I was sure you’d come up with a real winner.

      Off to tie Nell to the railroad tracks,
      Snidely Whiplash

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oops. How about Goldilocks and the Three Bores? The story of a little girl who flees The Big Bad Virginia Woolf only to be taken in by three science professors. The chemistry between them is non-existent. However, she finds them, collectively, to be an excellent sedative. She curls up in the shortest professor’s sleep-number bed with his My Pillow, thus having the best sleep of her life.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. “Driving Without Thinking” would perhaps explain the many drivers in my corner of PA who drive without blinking. No turn signals until they have nearly completed the turn. Well, thanks, Bubba, that was helpful 🙂

    I’ll tell you a fairy tale I’d like to see fractured–Rapunzel. Why on earth did she let that idiot prince climb up her hair without providing for a way to get back down? Duh.

    Liked by 1 person

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