The Jury’s Still Out

Posted on January 27, 2021 by

40 Comments

They say you are what you eat. The same hold true for your brain. From an early age, I fed mine a steady diet of Rocky & Bullwinkle, Looney toons, and that thrilling test pattern that appeared when TV stations logged off the air.

Fractured Fairy Tales was one of my favorites. The premise is easy to imagine. You simply take a classic fairy tale and add a twist. Imagine what you could do with characters such as Snow Not-So-White, Blondilocks and the Three Gray Hairs. In the comments, please leave the title of a Fractured Fairy Tale you’d like to read.

 If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the fractured mime who runs this program is Shelley Kohlen Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Marie Gail Stratford
Eric was pulled over for failure to proceed at a green light.
“Sir, have you been thinking?” the officer asked.
“No,” Eric replied, indignantly.
“Then you won’t mind taking a brain-wave sobriety test.”
The next thing Eric knew he was being fingerprinted and booked for DWT (Driving While Thinking).
“Mr. Wicklund,” said the judge. “Why didn’t you drive forward when the light turned green?”
“Well, your honor, I thought—”
“Ah ha!” the prosecutor screamed. “He admits it. He THOUGHT!”
After paying a hefty fine and attending a six-week course on thought-free driving, Eric finally got his license back.

*the above is a fractured version of the short story, The Perils of Heavy Thinking from the book by the same title.

 

Category: humorTags: , , , ,

40 Comments on “The Jury’s Still Out”

  2. I have a theory that everyone’s IQ drops by 30 points as soon as they get behind the wheel of a vehicle. This would leave most people completely incapable of thought, which is easily proved by watching people drive… As to fractured fairy tales, well, since this is a family blog, I won’t bring up any titles 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • I would tend to agree. Who knows about Eric. I suspect whatever he was thinking about had nothing to do with driving.

      I imagine fractured fairy tales could also include some X-rated titles. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. I seem to run the risk of getting run over every time I take a walk due to thoughtless drivers. However, I do think the brain-wave test should be given to most people to be sure they actually have brains. 😀 (Present company excluded, of course!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Dear Shelley Kohlen W(T)F,

      I pretty sure mimes invented texting. This happened long before cellphones and it was often difficult to understand what they were trying to say (damn autocorrect!). Where is your fractured fairy tale? I was sure you’d come up with a real winner.

      Off to tie Nell to the railroad tracks,
      Snidely Whiplash

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Oops. How about Goldilocks and the Three Bores? The story of a little girl who flees The Big Bad Virginia Woolf only to be taken in by three science professors. The chemistry between them is non-existent. However, she finds them, collectively, to be an excellent sedative. She curls up in the shortest professor’s sleep-number bed with his My Pillow, thus having the best sleep of her life.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. “Driving Without Thinking” would perhaps explain the many drivers in my corner of PA who drive without blinking. No turn signals until they have nearly completed the turn. Well, thanks, Bubba, that was helpful 🙂

    I’ll tell you a fairy tale I’d like to see fractured–Rapunzel. Why on earth did she let that idiot prince climb up her hair without providing for a way to get back down? Duh.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a reply to Iain Kelly Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,770 other subscribers
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
Get a signed copy!

Would you like a signed author copy of one of Russell Gayer’s books? Contact him today to make arrangements.

See Laurie write

Mandie Hines Author

Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers

The Phantom Rem

Stories From Within

Lorna's Voice

Finding ways to make words sparkle

The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose

This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.

Sharing sarcasm, snark, and satire with the world...

Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

Problems With Infinity

ParkInkSpot

I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.

Brown and Wooden

The English Major: A Dramedy

TheDustSeason

All the Blogging That's Fit To Print

www.immodiumabuser.com

AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.

Franky Speaks

Lame Adventures

A Humor Blog

Linda Vernon Humor

Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind

TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND

Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!

Lori Ericson, Author

An author's perspective of mystery and more.

The Best Things in Life

And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.

THE EDITOR'S JOURNAL