Damaged derrières

How many of you have attended a tent revival?  Mom dragged me to one in 1967. It was scheduled during the hottest week of the summer and held in large army-green canvas structures.  Inside, the heat and odors were suffocating. If bottled, the fragrance would’ve been labeled Eau de Gym Locker.

The evangelist was a silver-haired version of Ichabod Crane.  His boney fingers trembled even when he wasn’t pointing them at every lost sinner in the congregation. From his point of view, if you weren’t going to speak for an hour, why bother opening your mouth. Then came the altar call, which lasted a full thirty minutes. 

When we got home, I had to peel my clothes off and draped them over a chair. The next day they could stand by themselves. If Hell is anything like a tent revival, I sure don’t want to go.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the chirping beak who emcees this show is  Eleanor “Bird Woman of Belton” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Bill Reynolds

The musical of group Ronnie, Ray, and Stevie, known as The Three Blind Mice, filed suit today seeking punitive damages against Eva MacDonald, wife of local farmer Ol’ MacDonald. 

The plaintiffs are asking for $3 million compensation for the loss of their tails, which they allege the defendant chopped off with a carving knife.

Lawyers for Mrs. MacDonald claim she acted in self-defense, fearing for her life. “The mice were chasing her. This lawsuit is clearly a promotional stunt to draw attention to their new album.”

The trio plans to release the recording under the name The Three Bob-Tailed Rodents.

30 Comments on “Damaged derrières

  1. There’s no getting away from it. The original three blind mice is a brutal tale. I alway thought so as a kid and never sympathised with the farmer’s wife

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmm… I’m normally on the side of the mice in that story, but as my kitchen bin is currently the final resting place of all three band members, the farmer’s wife might claim the moral high ground.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Those tent revival things fascinate me – not that I’d ever contemplate attending one, but man, how they manage to gather all the believers blows my mind.

    As for the mice, I feel for them. As long as they be hanging elsewhere than IN my house 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Outback Wrangler,

    EEEEEE AYYYYY EEEEEEE AYYYYY OOOOOOOOHHHHHH. Cute names for the mice. 😉 Perhaps Eva was stressed out after the sweaty tent revival and lost her head. At least they weren’t three blind mimes with invisible boxes. About time you showed up.


    The Bird Woman of Belton W(T)F

    Liked by 1 person

  5. HA HA HA too funny and a perfect lift for an afternoon inside due to scorching heat.
    Thanks for the hilarity, Russell. The mice album might be a big seller since they are tailless,
    I have been to a revival tent, only once. A friend was going. I was curious, as I always am. Nope, not my thing but good for anyone that enjoys them.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My cat is available for hire as an alternative assassin. The other day, to add to her store of shrews, mice, fledglings and rats she proudly deposited a slow worm on the hall carpet. Love your story. Your tent revival clothes… meh… not so much.

    Liked by 1 person

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Mandie Hines Author

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