What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Category: humor
The Dolly Madison Files
Drones have been in the news a lot lately. I don’t understand why someone who performs no work, produces no honey, and whose sole function in life to mate with the Queen gets so much ink. Sure, the old gal is getting up in years and… Continue Reading “The Dolly Madison Files”
Killer Whales Attack KC
As a fledgling writer, I was often chastised for the use of “weak” verbs. My sentences were the proverbial 67 lb. weaklings who got sand kicked in their face by the bullies at the critique group. Then I heard about Damitol. You may remember… Continue Reading “Killer Whales Attack KC”
Best Laid Plans (of Clowns & Men)
Two months ago a Washington County road grader slashed our phone line in numerous places. To restore service, a technician draped 3,500 ft. of cable down the ditch, across the dirt road, through the pasture, and into our backyard. It has now been lying above… Continue Reading “Best Laid Plans (of Clowns & Men)”
Moondance (reprise*)
Early August in Northwest Arkansas brings with it the annual Tontitown Grape Festival. This year is the 117th celebration of the event which culminates with the crowning of Queen Concordia. Naturally, no such festival would be complete without grape stomping. “We look for kids… Continue Reading “Moondance (reprise*)”
American Nose Pickers
Come with me, if you will, to a parallel universe created within the twisted mind of a sick humorist. A journey that will challenge your imagination and catapult you to a place where you can not only Pick your Friends and Pick your Nose,… Continue Reading “American Nose Pickers”
Baby, It’s Cold Down Here
We’re experiencing an unusual weather pattern in the Ozarks this summer. Normally, this time of year we are bombarded with torrential downpours of blistering sunshine and drought so severe that trees are chasing dogs in hopes of finding some much needed liquid refreshment. The… Continue Reading “Baby, It’s Cold Down Here”
Running of the Chickens
Let’s have a show of hands. How many of you know what chiggers are? For those who don’t, the internet defines chiggers as the juvenile form of a certain type of mite of the family Trombiculidae. Personally, I could care less about their lineage… Continue Reading “Running of the Chickens”
So Easy an Idiom Could Do It
Computer networks have been crashing left and right the past few days, grounding airplanes, disrupting Wall Street, and totally blacking out every other word in Hilary Clinton’s personal emails. Fears of hackers and cyber attacks have people pointing fingers and placing the blame on… Continue Reading “So Easy an Idiom Could Do It”
Leave the Light On
Yes, it’s true. Connie and I are being flown to California to film a testimonial commercial for AARP Hartford Auto Insurance. This unusual chain of events began as a result of our collision with a pedestrian deer on the evening of January 20, 2015.… Continue Reading “Leave the Light On”
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 