What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Requiem for an Idiot
This week we had a couple of inches of ice and snow. If you’ve lived below the Mason Dixon line, you know it doesn’t take much of the white stuff to paralyze our infrastructure. Closings and cancelations scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen and we were all told to stay home for the public good—unless of course you drive a beer truck (a provider of essential services).
The anxiety ran so deep they even closed the Colon & Rectal Center of NWA. That announcement was cause for consternation and created a back-up from Bentonville all the way down to Winslow. Local officials called for calm when the flow of clients began to compact and exert pressure against the back door. Hopefully, the center will reopen soon and those folks can get some much needed relief.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, welcome to our clinic. Dr. Gabriela Wisoff-Fields will see you now. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Class, can anyone tell me what we’re looking at in this slide?”
“It looks like shards of scrap metal in a clear plastic dumpster with hydrochloric acid swirling around the bottom of the container. I can’t decipher the reverse print, but it appears to be unrelated to the contents.”
“You’re close, Janet. Very close.
What we have here is the mirror image of a cross-section of a writer’s brain. Notice the occasional bright spots, or random ideas, wallowing in the deep abyss of shallow thinking, and soon to be consumed by an all-engulfing sea of confusion.”
“Ah, I’ve read his work.”
44 Comments on “Requiem for an Idiot”
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What's So Funny? 
Brilliantly told, Russell. I think I’ve read his work too.
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I’m sure you have. The most common reaction is people shake their head and say, “Huh?”
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Oh Russell, that has to be one of your best! I almost sprayed my coffee everywhere. This was definitely a shard of brilliance. You’re really on fire my friend 😀
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Sorry about the coffee. I hope it didn’t squirt out your nose. I hate when that happens.
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Perfect.
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Glad you enjoyed it, KT.
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Dear Dr. Cloggim,
Sorry about that backup in Bentonville. Snowed in parts of the KC metro today. Not a fun drive home from the orifice.
The brain of one of my favorite authors I think.
Brilliance fading fast here, Loved the tour.
Shalom,
Dr Gabriela
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Thank you for not asking me to bend over and cough, Dr. Gabriela. I hear we have the possibility of more snow on the way. Bad news for the Colon & Rectal Center.
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LOL–a writer’s brain. Perfection. Quite a back-up in the intro, things could get messy.
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There’s a lot going on is a writer’s brain. Not all good, or bad, things are certainly tangled up in there.
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Obviously, the big bright spot on top is when the writer is thinking about beer.
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Amen, sister.
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Dear Russell, I’m on the waiting list at the library, but I’ve heard it was good too! Love your story! Nan 🙂
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Waiting to get in, or get out? I’m confused.
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That certainly feels like my brain these past few weeks. Take care in the snow. could see how that particular closure might place a strain on the community.
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If the clinic doesn’t open soon, there’ll be a big mess to clean up.
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Hilarious, Russell. This whole thing had me laughing out loud. 😀 We used to live in NC, so I know just what you’re referring to. Snow flake panic sets in. Also, that writer seemed familiar to me also. Of course, it could have been me on a bad day. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
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It could be me on a good day.
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That’s marvelous! Finally the truth is out about the writer’s brain.
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Remember, you read it here first.
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Man, that makes me glad I’m not in school. Nice post.
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Just be glad you don’t have to go to the Colon & Rectal Center.
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Dear Russell,
Great story! I was rather dismayed at the way this photo turned out when I took it (Sadly, it was the best of two shots.), but I’m thrilled at the way our FFs are using the ambiguity in stories this week.
Your intro this week was featured reading at my home this morning–right after our Lenten devotional. (We can’t take ourselves too seriously, even during Lent, you see.) The reading was accompanied by some much-needed laughter, so thank you.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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I trust you had a good Ash Wednesday.
I believe it was George Carlin who said, “Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.” I’m glad it gave you a smile. 🙂
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Wednesday was good–although I didn’t manage to get my ash in church. We had a Native American gathering to attend, which is something that my sister and I really enjoyed. Time to get in touch with our roots.
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Connie and I didn’t get our ashes in church either. We had planned to, then came into some comp tickets to see Camelot at the Walton Arts Center and went there instead.
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That’s what happens out here with a little rain. Russell, it’s disaster all around. I can’t imagine what would happen if it snowed here. We would be closed for the season. Your story is brilliant. I found the prompt difficult. I like how you tackled this one. I think I saw rainbow colors in those glass shards after reading this. 🙂 What wonderful insight into the writer’s mind you have.
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Now, if we could just get somewhere over the rainbow . . . .
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It has to be a tough read that one. (My mind is generally blank!)
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No, I don’t think so, Patrick. I’ve read enough of your work to know you’re very creative.
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Your introduction had me literally shaking my head but your story made me laugh!
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At least the intro didn’t make you cross your legs. 🙂
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Great stuff once again, and scaringly colse to the truth!
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Hehehe. Stay warm. 🙂
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Will do. Thanks for stopping by.
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This is truly priceless. Great take on the picture, Russell.
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I could no other reasonable explanation of what we were looking at.
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HA.. yes it’s worse than having read it.. I might have written it 🙂
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So, it was you? I knew someone would confess if this post got read by enough people.
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Sounds like there was more backup than just inside the facility! Are you sure it wasn’t “the client’s flow” rather than “the flow of clients?” Crap! I obviously don’t know what’s going on and could even identify the writer’s brain.
janet
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You’re right, Janet. The story “flows” about better with the sentence reworded. 🙂
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That’s funny, although I expected your brain to look a little more like Liberace’s. But there are plenty of bright spots and not so much abyss. I have that all engulfing sea of confusion, but nobody has ever read my work, so it doesn’t quite apply. Great job as usual!
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Oh, Perry, don’t be so modest. Who can remember . . . er, I mean who can forget your sterling piece of literature “The Fountain of Middle-age.” I’m severely pissed that I didn’t come up with that one first. I guess I’m too young to have ever considered that topic.
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Very entertaining. But I’m a bit worried because not only can I identify with random ideas, shallow thinking and confusion, I can also identify with blockages of various kinds . Oh well.
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