Squeaky Wheels

Bad news. I fear our new puppy, Liza Jane, is becoming a mime. Every morning she shows up at breakfast wearing white-face and black lipstick. She won’t talk when spoken to. She responds only with sarcastic body motions and exaggerated facial expressions.

To make matters worse, three times this week I caught her trying to rip the Do-Not-Remove tags from her toys. Heaven help us when she grows to seventy pounds and can lift furniture and mattresses.

I’m just praying Santa doesn’t bring Liza a striped shirt and beret for Christmas.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, you can trust your 100 words to the gal who wears the star, The Big Bright FFF Star, “Oil Can Boyd” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

photo copyright – Nick Allen

“All this skateboarding will catch up with you someday,” Mom said.

Fifteen-year-old Jesse smiled. What does she know? Sure, he’d taken a few falls and wrenched an ankle or two, but no broken bones—as yet.

Thirty years later just getting out of bed became a chore. It always took a couple of doses of lubrication to loosen the stiffness in his joints.

Bending to change a tire, lightning bolts of pain flashed through both knees and up his back. Finishing the job, he rose to his feet, staggered, and grimaced.

Maybe Mom was right after all.


Little Liza Jane
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66 Comments on “Squeaky Wheels

  1. Dear Crash & Burn,

    Fun Fact: Shelly doesn’t own a striped shirt. Horizontal stripes make a person look shorter, if not wider. Oh those fun things we did as kids tend to catch up with us, don’t they? As for Liza Jane,…oh what a face. I could just kiss it. No wonder she has you wrapped around her back paw. Has she started doing the wall or the mime walk? Sounds like an intelligent canine. 😉

    So you need to backtrack and check out our photo I posted last week. Harrumph. You didn’t show up. And Ted Strutz decided that he should use it as the photo prompt. And you missed it. Waaaaaah. Liza Jane, bite his ankle and bite the tag of his coveralls!

    Shalom,

    Oil Can Boyd W(T)F

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Oil Can Boyd W(T)F,

      Fictional Shelley does own a striped shirt. So what if it makes her look the height of a hockey puck. It’ll just make it harder for Lowry to pin the crimes on her.

      Liza Jane does appear intelligent–and stubborn. Right now, we’re trying to encourage her to think outside the invisible box and act more like a normal canine.

      Sorry I missed last week. Our wireless internet is intermittent as best and we are about 2 years away from having fiber optic in our area. I will backtrack and see what you’ve gotten me into.

      Stay slick,
      Crash & Burn

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Some parents seem to be very wise when it comes to what will ail us…

    And, yes, cute puppies will grow to remove the “Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law” tags. It is known… 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Shame on you, making fun of your sweet little dog. She’s adorable.

    I’m glad I didn’t listen to my mom about everything. She was right quite often, but she never did approve of how often I wanted to wash my oily hair. “You’ll wash the life right out of it.” Never happened. I could use some of that oil in my back right now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Another double dose of humor-and probably truth tossed in there-from Russell. If you desire more hilarity of this sort, just swing right on the blog and click on one or both of the book covers. You can help Russell even more by reblogging this post on your own blog as I’ve done on mine.

    Like

    • Probable truth? That’s a good way to phrase it. 🙂
      Actually, there’s more truth than fiction in these little tales.
      Thanks again for reblogging me.

      Like

  5. Yep, I fear you do have a developing mime there. My son is no doubt sorry he did so much skateboarding. A friend’s father, a doctor, warned him or he might have had even more problems. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • My son isn’t forty yet and the wear & tear of that sport is starting to show up in his joints. As my dad used to say, “We all have to pay for our fun.”

      Like

  6. As I read this I could hear my mother’s words… “you’ll ruin your feet in those shoes.” Years later, other people’s feet look as though they belong to a different species – the ones who didn’t stagger four miles a day in four inch heels. Good luck with the pup, sounds fun.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I was just reading your comment and was reminded of my first pair of heels…they were like 4 inches or more high, had strings that cris-crossed my leg all the way up to my knees… and oh, how mom did go ballistic. Worse yet, so did the orthopedist who conviscated them on the spot and gave me flip-flops in exchange… Now, I wish that I could even wear a 1 inch heel…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yep, sandals all summer, soft suede boots all winter with the odd foray into trainers for the gym. Not a fashion shoe in sight in my wardrobe. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • April through time for school to start, bare feet (sandals since I married and can afford), sneaks all winter (or until I couldn’t squeeze my feetsies into them. Now, I have sneaks and a pair of snow boots, and pair of flats for Sunday…and I consider myself so very blessed for them.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Mom, is ALWAYS RIGHT, even when she’s wrong… Although we really hate to admit it. Love your puppy story…call it ditto for our new kitten, Tripper. By the time hubby gets home from work, I’m ready to ‘kill the kenny – uh, kitty’! Enjoy for soon, more evil antics will come! Great read this week!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mums like to hear that they were right too. I don’t know if Jesse had ever told her. I would make her day.

      I’m glad you like Liza. I got the name from an old Bob Wills song.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Jesse’s pain pure ageing problem of extension of skate board falls? By the way who chooses lipstick for Liza Jane. May be changing shade will improve her attitude.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Skateboards have claimed two broken arms in our family. Love your comment about thinking outside the invisible box. I think the joint oil should be made of strained puppy energy. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry to hear about the broken arms (though I’m not surprised). Skateboarding claims more than its share of casualties.
      I wish I knew how to bottle that puppy-energy. I would become a millionaire.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh that Liza Jane is a cutie. I rather like the fact that she can mime at such a young age. 😉 Never could understand skateboards. A tire swing tied up a 100-foot pine tree was the cause of a broken bone or two in the family. Nice story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m hoping she grows out of the mime thing. 🙂
      The only difference between skateboarding & football, is the pain is self-inflicted instead of being slammed to the ground by an opposing player.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. It seems that “better late than never” doesn’t apply in Jesse’s case… he has finally learned that Mom was right, but there’s nothing he can do about it now.
    Liza Jane is adorable! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sure even Cave Moms warned their children of the long-term effects of dangerous games, but did they listen? Nope. It’s been the same old story since they beginning of time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Perhaps little girls are more inclined to heed their mothers’ warnings? Before they become teenagers, that is. Also, I suspect boys tend to play more dangerous games than girls do.

        Like

    • You’re absolutely right, Brenda. It is the circle of life.
      Little Liza’s head would swell if she heard all the compliments this post has given her.

      Like

    • I suspect you left a long trail of broken rules, Bjorn. (As did I)
      Liza is less that 4 months old, but when she’s grown, she’ll be a terror on woodchucks, armadillos, and opposums (let’s hope she leaves skunks alone).

      Like

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